The other day, Samuel and I visited Brandon at church. As we walked
through the quiet hallways, Samuel cautiously peeked into different doorways
and questioned, “Jesus?”
Samuel knows that when we go to church, we are there for
Jesus. We worship Jesus, pray to Jesus and learn about Jesus. I love that
Samuel was looking for Jesus today. My heart’s desire is that Samuel will find
Jesus at an early age. I also want all of my boys to know that Jesus is not contained
within the walls of Valley Church or any other church building. When they are
playing in our house, sitting in the minivan or walking to school, Jesus is
there. Today I am encouraged that my little one was looking for Jesus. Keep
looking little buddy and you will find him!
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the
door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Last weekend we celebrated 1 year in Iowa. I have found myself recounting "last year at this time" over and over again. As I look back, I definitely remember the heartache of leaving so many people and places we love. However, I can not help but remember this season of life as a time where God's grace was so generously lavished upon us. I want to remember God's intimate love and care shown to us through our transition. Here are some snippets of that beautiful grace...
"The realtor is coming over today." I think my heart skipped a few beats. I knew it had to happen, but I just needed some time to clean up the last 6 or so years of clutter that had accumulated in every nook and cranny of our home. The realtor came on a Friday, Brandon left for the week on Saturday and the house was on the market with a walk through scheduled by Monday. I worked for hours tossing, storing, organizing and cleaning. The boys cooperated and allowed me that time. A dear friend came over Sunday night to help me finish those last few jobs that I had kept putting off. I am amazed that although not perfect, our home was ready to be shown.
"It only takes one person to buy your house." My mind was busy thinking through the different scenarios our family might face. Will I have to stay in Illinois with the boys while Brandon goes to Iowa? Would we go to Iowa without selling the house and rent or find other arrangements? Even if we do sell the house, will we be able to get into a new house in time? What about school for the boys? Should I quit my job now or wait and see? I did think about these questions, I did hope that things would move quickly, but for the most part, I was at peace. As the saying goes... I didn't know what my future held, but I knew the one who held my future.
"Can we schedule a second walk through?" I believe our house was on the market for 3 weeks when we received an offer. The offer was a bit low, but the buyers loved the house and were willing to negotiate (as were we) and we came to an agreement rather quickly. The boys and I had prayed together that this house would sell quickly and that it would be a blessing to whoever bought it. Although we never met the new owners, my dad did. The buyer said how happy she was to find the house and how much she loved it. When we shared the news that our house had sold, many called this a miracle and a clear moving of God's hand. We are thankful for God's grace.
"We have an opening in our 2 day classroom!" This special blessing from the Lord brought tears to my eyes. In the entire scope of our out of state move, my biggest concern was my children's schooling. Would we have a house before school started? Would there be room in the elementary school for Owen? Would there be any preschools with openings this late in the summer? I searched the web up and down for a preschool program for Miles. One preschool stated that a child could be placed on the wait list as soon as they were born and had a name! As I searched, I found one particular program that I was very interested in. Little Friends Preschool operated out of a small church about 15 minutes from Valley church. I was a little concerned about the distance since we were hoping to live near the church, but took the leap and checked it out. I fell in love. The pastor and director were wonderful and the program was very similar in hours and curriculum to our beloved Moms Day Out. And there was an opening! And if this wasn't enough, we ended up living about 2 minutes from the preschool!
"I think I might have a house you will like." One of our first meetings in Des Moines was with a church member who also happened to be a real estate agent. When Brandon officially accepted the position at Valley, he was one of the first people we called. Tony was so great dealing with these in-a-hurry home buyers. After a marathon of walking through all the houses I had found online, we went back to his office to regroup. Tony searched for vacant ranch houses and found 2 homes that seemed like a great fit for our family. We toured both, loved both and eventually bid on one. The bid was not accepted so we quickly wrote up an offer for the second home. Looking back, we see that this was the perfect house for us. We are so thankful to be in such a wonderful neighborhood!
"My sister goes to that church." Owen's first day of 2nd grade. It was such a strange time in our lives. Owen and I were staying in a home about 30 minutes from the school. Brandon and the little boys were in Rockford packing up the house. I nervously walked him to the school lawn and found his teacher. She cheerfully greeted us and I quickly briefed her on our situation. When I told her that we were moving here because of my husband's new job the topic of Valley Church came up. Owen's teacher was familiar with the church. She had done Bible study through our church and her sister even attended there. It was such a comfort to leave Owen in such good hands. Owen had the best year with Mrs. Weiss and we are so very thankful for her!
"Hi, my name is Sara." Probably about a year ago today I had a quick conversation that has turned into a dear friendship. A mom of 3 boys noticed this mom of 3 boys and introduced herself on the walk home from school one day. She offered to give me some information about doctors, sports for the boys, and everything in between. Sara has been such a blessing. We walk together and talk together and do a lot of life together. I haven't had such a good friend living just down the street since I was a little girl!
This year has had its full of ups and downs, but through it all we continue to see that God is faithful and so very worthy of our trust. We are thankful to God for his loving, tender and personal care for our family through it all.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Cor 9:8
I am in the process of planning a family vacation. My
biggest headache right now is arranging transportation for our family. We have
decided that an airplane is the way to go, however, will we be able to arrange
a nonstop flight for a decent price? It’s not looking good.
So, what’s the big deal about a stop or two along the way?
For starters… time. We want to make the most of every single moment and that
doesn’t include travel time. Also, hauling carry-on luggage and three young
children from one plane to another in an orderly fashion seems next to
impossible and not very vacation like. And as if these issues were not enough,
there is always the problem of feeding everyone during the trip.
When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, it wasn’t a
direct flight. God, the travel agent specializing in unique trips, had planned
a very important layover… in the desert. The Israelites were not thrilled. When
would they get where they were going? How would they manage all they had and
get all they needed during this annoying route? And what about this whole
desert thing? Why the desert? I had
never really thought about this last question. They were in Egypt heading to the Promised
Land and the desert was in the middle. However, after reading God’s recounting of Israel’s
liberation from Egypt in Ezekiel 20:10-11, I saw it. This desert layover was
perfectly and precisely planned. God had an important purpose for this
inconvenient stop. “Therefore I led them out of Egypt and brought them into the
desert. I gave them my decrees and made known to them my laws, for the man who
obeys them will live by them.”
God brought His people, the Israelites, into the
desert to teach them how to live. He had wisdom and direction and rules that
were meant to set this people apart from all other nations. These commands were
for the good of His people, shaping and molding them into children of God and
the desert was a perfect setting to deliver this instruction. The past was
behind them, the promise was before them. The Israelites were now in a
distraction free zone. All they had to do was trust that their travel agent had
their best interests at heart—that He knew what He was doing and would take
care of all the details. But we all know how that turned out!
I am learning to love what God does in my deserts. Although
they aren’t always pleasant at the time, I have seen the heart of my travel
agent and I’ve come to trust his itinerary for my life. Now off to check on
those airline tickets and ready to embrace a stop or two along the way.
Show me your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths… Psalm 25:4
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
Psalm 119:32
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Psalm
119:35
McDonalds Playplace. I hate to think of the germs that lurk
there, but tonight something special happened. A tearful mother walked to our
table and explained the huge victory her son just experienced. “You might not
think this is a big deal, but my son just asked your son to play.” This proud
momma went on to explain the struggles her 7 year old son experienced due to
autism. We celebrated with her and enjoyed watching the boys interact.
I wish I could take credit for my children. I wish I could
say that I taught them whatever they needed to know to create this special
moment, but I can’t. As a matter of fact, recently, I have been trying to shape
and mold my children in ways that might hinder this kind of interaction in the
future.
Tonight I was reminded that it is not my job to make my
children fit a certain mold. My responsibility and privilege is to train up His
children, the children God has created in His own image and for His own good purposes. You might not think this is a big deal, but I learned a lot about being a parent tonight. Now who’s
the momma with tears in her eyes!
You know the new moves I was just writing about? Well, tripped up a bit the other night. Yesterday morning I was awakened at 6:03am by a very sad little boy. "Mom, my tooth is gone, but there is nothing in my tooth fairy pillow!" Um, can you say epic tooth fairy FAIL! Dad jumped out of bed and amazingly enough found the tooth fairy's gift laying on the floor next to the bed. A tooth fairy miracle! I'll just leave it at that.
I call Iowa my spacious place. God picked me up and moved me 4 1/2 hours west. He also moved me away from everyone and everything I had known for the past decade of life. Although relocating can take you away from difficult people or situations, it also removes the daily rhythm of relationships and routines to which you have become accustomed.
After my first few weeks in Iowa, I came to a realization. Life here was going to be different. Mind-blowing, huh! I had to find a new rhythm. I needed to develop new relationships while learning to adjust old ones. I needed to figure out how to get through the day by myself with 3 boys. I needed to decide what stores to shop at and how to organize my house. I needed to figure out a schedule for getting a shower!!! At times, this process felt awkward and overwhelming. I stumbled around and had a lot of missteps. I was always trying to plot my next move, but my choreography was off.
Then something happened. I started tuning into the music that was playing. I took note of my surroundings and my circumstances. Although I might not have chosen the tune, I could certainly embrace this new rhythm and move to the music. My new moves include making our house a home through learning how to make a cleaning schedule and buying everything I see on etsy. It includes putting more time and effort into raising my boys. It includes meeting new people and going new places. Of course it still includes many awkward moments and missteps, but at least I am starting to feel the rhythm (and even starting to like the music)!
I'm planning to use this space to document some of my new moves. Although I am not trying to be perfect or turn my life into one big pinterest board, I am trying to find my rhythm. Sometimes it will work and sometimes... it just won't. Should be an interesting dance!
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Here I am again, the new girl. This is the second time in my
life when I have had to dig up some deep roots and start completely over. My
first experience with newness was as a newlywed. Not one thing in my life was
the same. New name, new roommate (of a new gender!), new state, new school, new
church, new job, new grocery store, new EVERYTHING! This was a tough time in my
life. Although I was a Christian with a growing relationship with the Lord, I
did not really understand who I was in Christ. When all the sand in my life
started shifting, my feet were not firmly planted on the solid rock. I was
sinking. It was dark at times. I often felt alone, isolated, and just plain
sad. Those in my life during that time would probably say they had no idea I
was feeling so lost. These are the kinds of battles that are often waged behind
closed doors.
I vividly remember lying in bed alone one night. I turned my
head and noticed my Bible gathering dust on the nightstand. I knew it was my
life raft. I knew the power that book could wield in the midst of my struggle.
Yet I was weak. I felt so weak and so hopeless; I couldn’t even physically lift
my hand.So, how did I regain my
footing? One step at a time. Although I couldn’t lift a hand, I kept moving my
feet. I showed up at church. I signed up for retreats. I tried small groups and
eventually I landed in a Bible study with 2 women just a smidge ahead of me in
life. As I continued to seek my
God, the God I had grown up learning about, I began to find Him. I found Him in
relationships, I found Him in His Word and eventually I found Him in my
everyday life. In the process of finding Him, I was finding myself.
As I once again experience the sands of my life shifting, I
still falter from time to time. Just last week I had a mommy meltdown at the
pediatrician’s office, a grumbling session at the grocery store, and a less
than stellar attitude as a wife and mom. However, I have not completely lost my
footing. There is a solid rock on which I now stand. He sees me, He knows me,
He cares for me.He knows my past,
my present, and my future. He is
more than enough and I trust Him with all my heart.
Lord, You make all things new. Help me to embrace this
season of newness to be Your hands and feet wherever You have planted mine.
Psalm 40:2-3 He lifted
me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and
gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise
to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.
After a night of listening to heavy rain and thunder, I decided to do a quick google search on the benefits of a storm. I landed on a weatherman's blog about tropical storms. Here is what I learned:
1. Storms can bring much needed rain not only to the affected area, but to many surrounding areas as well. As many of us have learned this summer, rain is very important! Rain does more than just keep our yards looking nice and green, it causes our food to grow which causes animals to be fed which causes prices to remain stable and on down the line.
2. Tropical storms are critical for coastal islands to remain afloat. The winds and waves of these strong storms make islands taller and wider by moving the sand. Without these storms, islands would become thinner and smaller and eventually disappear.
3. Much of the destruction done during tropical storms is to structures along the coast. Builders have gone to great lengths to build structures closer and closer to the water. The techniques they have used not only put people in harms way, they actually contribute to the massive damage done during storms.
We all experience storms in life. Some are mild, some are of hurricane proportion. Although storms are not pleasant at the time, there are benefits. Storms can cause us to grow. Not only do we grow, but we are able to care for and encourage others in new ways. Storms build our foundation. When we are hit by the storms of life, a lot of not so important things are washed away and we clearly see what is important. To minimize the damage sustained during our storms, we need to remain in God's word and allow it to guide us away from things that will harms us and into truth and righteousness.
In the midst of our chaotic summer, we were blessed with a unique opportunity to share our journey through miscarriage with the great people at Group Magazine. This fall, Group will be launching a brand new digital magazine called Unfiltered: Helping Youth Workers Thrive in Life. Our story is part of the premiere issue. For any Group or Unfiltered users finding their way to this blog, I wanted to give a list of links to my blog entries that directly relate to miscarriage or it's aftermath. The journey is often dark and lonely, but God also lavishes His peace, joy and never ending grace on those who seek Him.
Yes, it's true... the Earlys will be heading to Iowa on an adventure that only God could orchestrate. Although many of the details are still unclear, we will soon be moving to Des Moines, Iowa to serve at Valley Church. Brandon will continue to serve in his area of greatest passion and calling--youth ministry. I will take some time away from working outside the home to care for our family.
A truly epic adventure is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. We are definitely experiencing heartache as we say good-bye to family and many dear friends. We have been through so much during our 13 years in Rockford and have been blessed with deep and meaningful relationships with so many. As we grieve these losses, we also look forward to the new people, places and ministry that God has waiting for us.
Through all of this, God has been so faithful to lead and to guide, to comfort and encourage. I think God is once again allowing us to really live out the phrase I so often find myself saying, "We don't understand, but we trust."
Please pray that we would continue to listen to God and trust Him with all the details of our move and transition. Right now, we are specifically praying for the sale of our home. He is so good and faithful and we trust Him to take care of us in His perfect timing.
Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Have you ever been to a youth league soccer game? I have experienced this madness many times. Let me set the scene... Two teams of 12 little boys showing off their cool soccer uniforms and kicking each others shinguards; balls flying every which way; kids waving to their friends playing on the next field; parents shouting advice from the sidelines; kids swatting at bugs; younger siblings being scooped up by their parents as they attempt to run across the field. And this is just the first minute of the game! It is complete chaos most of the time.
After one of these overstimulating games, I hopped in the car with my 7 year old. We drove in silence for a few minutes until I decided to take hold of a teachable moment.
"Owen, you have a really great soccer coach. He knows a lot about soccer. I can tell he likes the game. He does a great job of teaching you different skills and then he reminds you to try out those skills in the game. I also can see that he cares about you. He talks to you a lot and gives you special things to work on. He really seems to know the things you are good at and the things that are tricky for you. He tells you good job when you d try a new skill and reminds you when you forget something he has taught you."
Owen's response... "uh huh." I decided to plow ahead.
"Do you know what I noticed today? Sometimes you don't hear your coach. Sometimes your coach is telling you to do something, but you don't hear him because there is so much noise and other stuff going on. There was even one time when he was trying to tell you good job, but you were too busy being silly with your teammate. Owen, you need to learn to listen for your coach's voice. There will always be noise and other distractions, but if you really listen, you will be able to hear him. You want to know what he is saying. Remember, he knows soccer and he knows you and he wants to help you.
Owen's response... "okay."
Although I really do want Owen to listen to his coach, my deepest desire is for him to learn to hear the voice of Jesus. It is the voice that leads us beside quiet waters and guides us in paths of righteousness. It is the voice that calms the storms and the voice that heals. It is the voice of peace and truth. As this world becomes increasingly creative in ways to attract our attention, there is a constant, still small voice that beckons us to come and listen and live.
As the boys were getting ready for bed tonight, something out of the ordinary happened. I heard sobbing in the bathroom. I peeked in and Owen was in tears. He's a pretty tough kid so I knew something was going on. I asked him what was wrong and he asked me if he was going to die. After some conversation, I found that this was a little boy who was fully understanding the impact of sin in the world and in his own life. I affirmed that his feelings of sadness were right on. Blessed are those who mourn. We talked about how it makes God sad too and that's why He sent Jesus. We talked about Heaven. Owen asked some great questions--some I could answer and some I couldn't. Owen expressed how much he wanted his friend at school to believe so he could go to Heaven too.
I am humbled by Owen's pure heart and reminded that our time here is limited. I am also reminded of how important it is for us as parents to be in the Word and to always be prepared to engage our children in spiritual conversations. These conversations are always welcomed in our family whether we are at home, in the car, or even on vacation. As Brandon was tucking the boys in to bed, I heard him praise Owen for asking such great questions. As Owen continues to seek, I am so thankful to know that our God will never fail him.
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4
I tried to prepare ahead of time, but it just wasn’t coming
together. My boss had asked me to share a devotional with our staff that
morning and here I was sitting at my desk 10 minutes before our meeting with
nothing to share. It’s not that I hadn’t thought about it. Many ideas had
floated in and out of my brain in the past 24 hours, but nothing seemed to
stick.
And then I saw it. Of all things, it was a mug I had
received from the fireman who had just visited our program to talk to the kids
about fire safety. It had railroad tracks on it along with the phrases “Always
expect a train” and “Any time is train time.” That was it. This was the message
God had for me to share.
I headed upstairs with my new mug in hand. When it was my
turn to share I held up the mug and announced… “Always expect a trial. Any time
is trial time.” I used John 16:33 to share the good news, bad news message with
the women. In a nutshell, I reminded everyone that we live in a fallen and
sinful world, so trials in our lives are guaranteed. The good news… we can
count on the One who has overcome the world. In the meantime, we need to
prepare. It is crucial that we are spending time in God’s Word and in prayer.
We need to be ready because… “any time is trial time.”
In this world
you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
I learned a lot from the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4 (see previous post), but then I discovered that she makes headlines again in 2 Kings 8. Here it is in NIV…
Now Elisha had said to the woman whose son he had restored to life, “Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever you can, because the Lord has decreed a famine in the land that will last seven years.” 2 The woman proceeded to do as the man of God said. She and her family went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines seven years.
3 At the end of the seven years she came back from the land of the Philistines and went to the king to beg for her house and land. 4 The king was talking to Gehazi, the servant of the man of God, and had said, “Tell me about all the great things Elisha has done.” 5 Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored the dead to life, the woman whose son Elisha had brought back to life came to beg the king for her house and land.
Gehazi said, “This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whom Elisha restored to life.” 6 The king asked the woman about it, and she told him.
Then he assigned an official to her case and said to him, “Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now.”
I was so excited when I read this! That horrible experience that the Shunammite woman went through was more than just a heart check. God redeemed that tragic incident in her life and used it for her good—to bless her and her family abundantly at just the right time! I guess I knew that, but to see it played out in Scripture reminded me of God’s love and goodness and grace.
To the God of grace who redeems our broken dreams and is working in ways we can not even fathom, to Him be all the glory and honor and praise forever, Amen!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I recently read through 2 Kings for my Bible study. I was excited to revisit the story of the Shunammite woman that was first brought to my attention by Phil Vischer creator of Veggie Tales in his autobiography Me, Myself & Bob.
2 Kings 4:8-37 tells the story of a woman from the Biblical city of Shunem. We know that she was “well-to-do” with a knack for hospitality. Upon recognizing that Elisha was a “holy man of God,” she and her aged husband built a room on their roof for the prophet to stay whenever he came.
To thank the woman, Elisha announced that she would have a son. The woman objected, not because she didn’t want a child, but because she did not want to get her hopes up. She had given up this dream years ago.
Fast forward one year and, just as Elisha said, the woman was holding a newborn son in her arms. Her dream had come true. Now, fast forward a few more years… the child goes out to his father in the field and tells him that he has a headache. He is taken to his mother and ends up dying in her arms.
Was this some sort of cruel joke? Why would God allow her dream of having a child to come true and then snatch her dream away? This is the question Veggie Tales creator Phil Vischer was asking in Me, Myself & Bob. God had given him a big dream. He wanted to do big things for God through media. He aspired to be the Christian Walt Disney. It looked like he was on his way to achieving this dream. God was doing amazing things as Veggie Tales exploded in popularity. Then it all fell apart. Eventually, Phil Vischer lost everything. His company went bankrupt and all he had worked so hard for was gone. What was God doing?
We know that God does not look at what man looks at. God looks at the heart. Perhaps God was looking into the hearts of the Shunammite woman and Phil Vischer to determine who or what they loved the most—God or their dream? When we suffer the loss of a dream, we have the opportunity to declare our allegiance. Who or what matters most to us? Will we cling to our dreams or will we hold fast to our God?
So, how does the story end? As Phil Vischer suggests, sometimes God gives us our dream back and sometimes he doesn’t… and that’s okay. The Shunammite quickly heads out to find Elisha who returns to Shunem with the woman and does a miracle. The boy’s life is restored. As for Phil Vischer, Big Idea and Veggie Tales are gone, but he is currently creating for his new company Jellyfish Labs. Perhaps God is giving him new dreams. The lesson we can learn in all this is that God plus nothing is enough. There is no dream, no ministry, no achievement that can add to who God is in our lives. He is enough… He is everything!
As important as this lesson has been in my life, I am so excited about what God taught me a few chapters later through this same woman. I’ll post again soon with the amazing sequel of the Shunammite’s story!
I rung in the new year reading Phil Vischer’s book Me, Myself & Bob. It was all about our hopes and dreams and what happens when we lose them. If you want the Cliff’s Notes version check out Phil Vischer speaking on iTunesU.
January 5th
Our first appointment with a fertility doctor. We spent 2 hours with the doctor reviewing our history and determining a plan, which included several tests and possible treatment.
February
Interview and accept a position with the Mom’s Day Out program at the church to begin the next school year.
February 12th
Brandon organizes an amazing conference for teens and their parents called Uncomplicated.
February 23rd
Positive pregnancy test.
March
Attend Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago. Brandon did a great job as a presenter and I learned a ton at the many sessions I was able to attend.
April
Lots of doctor appointments and not feeling well at all.
May 10th
Voted in as PTO secretary for Owen’s school.
May 18th
Move up to high school ministry after 11 years serving in junior high. No more sitting on the floor!
June
Head to Kentucky for the junior high missions trip. VBS was all about the Bible this year.
July 3rd
Miles turns 4! We partied with our family and cousins at Monkey Joes.
July 6th
Head to Galena with my friend Jessi to kick off a new Bible study that will take us through the entire
Bible.
July 22nd
Memorial service for Grandma Schmidt in Celina. Brandon led the outdoor service.
July 25th
My first official job event for MDO. I organized a workshop in which my mom was the featured speaker. She did great!
July 30th
Brandon officiates his first wedding for the Carlsons. It was a beautiful day!
August 6-13th
Family vacation in Door County. We rented a cottage on Lake Michigan for the week. The boys loved playing on the beach even if there were dead fish everywhere!
August 24th
Owen starts 1st grade with Mrs. Welden who was also his kindergarten teacher.
September 10th
Head to Lake Geneva for a day with my mom and grandma along with Jody and June. We took a boat ride and went out for lunch.
October 2nd
Brandon speaks at Walk to Remember, a special memorial for families who have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.
October 21-23rd
Senior High fall retreat in Lake Geneva. I was able to go for the day on Saturday.
October 26th
Samuel Brandon Early born at 3:46pm weighing 7lbs 13oz and 21 inches long. I ended up having an emergency c-section.
November 23-26th
Head to Ohio for Thanksgiving. It was quite an interesting car trip with our family of 5!
November 24th
Owen turns 7! He had chosen a birthday dinner at JMK Nippon a few days earlier.
December
Christmas parties and lots of family time. The boys enjoyed reading Jotham’s Journey for advent this year. We also made our birthday cake for Jesus. I think Samuel enjoyed his first Christmas!
As I was driving home the other day, I spotted a big, fat squirrel sitting under a tree having a nice little snack. What a lazy little guy I thought. Must be nice to just sit around all day and eat. Then I realized that this fat squirrel was not so lazy after all. He was simply preparing for what was sure to come... winter.
Although here in the Midwest we are all preparing for another winter, we are each experiencing different seasons in our own lives. Some are rejoicing in God's provisions and blessings while others mourn the tragedies that break our hearts in this fallen world. Unlike the fairly predictable weather patterns that occur each year, the seasons of our lives have no such routine. There is no way of knowing what each new day will bring.
It is easy to feel like sitting around and devoting time to Bible study and prayer is a waste of time and not very productive. I need to take notes from that big, fat squirrel and realize the importance of storing up for whatever lies around the corner. I believe it was Beth Moore who made the statement that you will never waste a minute in God's word.
Thank you God for your provision and thank you for those seasons in our lives where we can store up what we need to weather the harshest winters.
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4
Wednesday is Awana night for Owen. In addition to having a great time at church, Owen enjoys getting to stay up a little later. He has become a master of dragging out his bedtime routine as long as possible. Tonight, as Owen was getting ready for bed, he came in to kiss his new baby brother one last time. After a last round of snuggles and hugs, I told Owen that Samuel has a really great big brother. As Owen walked out of the room to head to bed, he said, "I can't wait until Samuel asks Jesus into his heart."
“And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:5
It is kind of a weird feeling going to bed knowing that you will wake up the next morning and head to the hospital to have a baby. I think I got a little sleep, but of course my mind was busy wondering if I had everything packed and ready to go and what the next day would hold.
A routine induction had been scheduled for Wednesday, October 26, 2011, but it would wind up being anything but routine. We arrived at Swedes a few minutes after 6am. We were checked in and nurse Kelly got things going. I was given pitocin a few hours later in hopes that it would speed up the irregular contractions I had been having the last few weeks of the pregnancy. Throughout the morning we heard reports from some of the nurses that the labor and delivery floor was becoming a very busy place.
Just before noon my nurse Chelly came in and said that we were going to go ahead with the epidural because the anesthesiologist was on the floor and they weren’t sure when he’d be back. Sounded like a very good idea to me! I think it was around 2:30-3:00pm when my doctor came in and broke my water. This was the final step in getting this labor into full swing. This is when things got exciting.
Almost immediately after having my water broken, I began experiencing horrible pains with each contraction. This was strange since I had an epidural and had been doing really well with pain all morning. Contractions were coming closer and closer together and the pain was getting more intense each time. I was at the point of tears, so an anesthesiologist was called back to the room to adjust my medications.
The next minutes were a bit blurry. It went from my nurse and the anesthesiologist in my room to about 8 more people in the room. I vaguely remember hearing the very slow beeps on the baby’s heart rate monitor in the midst of all the conversations amongst medical personnel. Later we learned that the baby’s heart rate had dropped to 60 beats per minute and he was not responding to any of the doctor’s and nurse’s attempts to restore his heart rate to normal. I looked at Brandon and mouthed the word… PRAY! In the flurry of activity, I was asked to get on my hands and knees… no easy feat for a woman with no feeling in the bottom half of her body! The next thing I remember is being unhooked and unplugged and rushed out of the room leaving Brandon in the dust.
After this point, I heard voices and listened in on several different conversations happening all at once. They were looking for records, finding the right equipment, asking for permission, pressing an oxygen mask on my face, preparing me for an emergency c-section. One conversation was about my heart rate. There was a concern that it was low, but then it was determined that I was just remaining calm. If they only knew… You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3).
I had been here before. I had a choice. Life was happening and the situation was far beyond my control. What would I do? Who would I trust? I chose to trust the one who is always faithful. I’ve learned to trust Him in a new way. I don’t trust that He will make everything go the way I want it to go. I don’t trust that everything will have the happy ending I might desire. I don’t trust that the end result will make sense.
I do trust that the One in control is completely faithful. I trust that He has a hope and a future for me. I trust that His heart is good and His love is strong. I trust Him with everything… including my precious baby. As I was lying there, strapped to that table in the operation room, waiting to be completely put under anesthesia, I whispered a prayer… “Jesus, I trust you Jesus.” I wondered what kind of news would await me when I woke up.
It was over. I was hearing voices, some familiar, some strange. I couldn’t open my eyes, but I felt someone holding my hand. “He’s beautiful Keri. Everything is fine. He’s beautiful.” It was my friend Beth who also happened to be a nurse at the hospital. Over the next hour I slowly came out of the anesthesia and learned that Samuel Brandon Early had arrived at 3:46pm. (It was 9 minutes between the time it was decided I need a c-section and the time Samuel was born.) He weighed in at 7lbs 13 oz, was 20 inches long, and he was fine. My nurse Chelly said she can not recall a situation where so many things just perfectly fell into place to make this special delivery happen so quickly. I think I said the words “He’s here and he’s fine” about 20 times that night. He was here. He was finally here. And he was fine.
We are thrilled to have Samuel home with us now. It has been a very long journey and the Lord has been faithful to lead and guide us along each step. Samuel’s name is very special. Like Samuel’s mother Hannah in the Bible, I too had asked the Lord for this child (1 Samuel 1:20, 27). After going through 3 miscarriages, I knew there were no guarantees, but I knew that God wanted me to be honest with him, so I honestly shared with Him this desire to have a child knowing that He was ultimately in control.Along each step of the journey, including this last big leap, I yielded my hopes and dreams to Him knowing that His plan for me was the best. He is faithful and now we praise Him for the joy He has brought to our lives through this new little life. As I continue on this journey with Jesus, I pray that I will always put my trust in the one who continuously proves Himself faithful.
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3
You are teaching me to wait upon you day by day with great expectation. Thank you for your great patience and kindness to me. You are a God who is with me always. You never let go of me. My desire is to follow hard after you all the days of my life. It is only by your grace this can be accomplished. Guide me and lead me in your truths Lord. You are faithful and I will put my trust in you.
