I Trust You

It is kind of a weird feeling going to bed knowing that you will wake up the next morning and head to the hospital to have a baby. I think I got a little sleep, but of course my mind was busy wondering if I had everything packed and ready to go and what the next day would hold.

A routine induction had been scheduled for Wednesday, October 26, 2011, but it would wind up being anything but routine. We arrived at Swedes a few minutes after 6am. We were checked in and nurse Kelly got things going. I was given pitocin a few hours later in hopes that it would speed up the irregular contractions I had been having the last few weeks of the pregnancy. Throughout the morning we heard reports from some of the nurses that the labor and delivery floor was becoming a very busy place.

Just before noon my nurse Chelly came in and said that we were going to go ahead with the epidural because the anesthesiologist was on the floor and they weren’t sure when he’d be back. Sounded like a very good idea to me! I think it was around 2:30-3:00pm when my doctor came in and broke my water. This was the final step in getting this labor into full swing. This is when things got exciting.

Almost immediately after having my water broken, I began experiencing horrible pains with each contraction. This was strange since I had an epidural and had been doing really well with pain all morning. Contractions were coming closer and closer together and the pain was getting more intense each time. I was at the point of tears, so an anesthesiologist was called back to the room to adjust my medications.

The next minutes were a bit blurry. It went from my nurse and the anesthesiologist in my room to about 8 more people in the room. I vaguely remember hearing the very slow beeps on the baby’s heart rate monitor in the midst of all the conversations amongst medical personnel. Later we learned that the baby’s heart rate had dropped to 60 beats per minute and he was not responding to any of the doctor’s and nurse’s attempts to restore his heart rate to normal. I looked at Brandon and mouthed the word… PRAY! In the flurry of activity, I was asked to get on my hands and knees… no easy feat for a woman with no feeling in the bottom half of her body! The next thing I remember is being unhooked and unplugged and rushed out of the room leaving Brandon in the dust.

After this point, I heard voices and listened in on several different conversations happening all at once. They were looking for records, finding the right equipment, asking for permission, pressing an oxygen mask on my face, preparing me for an emergency c-section. One conversation was about my heart rate. There was a concern that it was low, but then it was determined that I was just remaining calm. If they only knew… You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3).

I had been here before. I had a choice. Life was happening and the situation was far beyond my control. What would I do? Who would I trust? I chose to trust the one who is always faithful. I’ve learned to trust Him in a new way. I don’t trust that He will make everything go the way I want it to go. I don’t trust that everything will have the happy ending I might desire. I don’t trust that the end result will make sense.

I do trust that the One in control is completely faithful. I trust that He has a hope and a future for me. I trust that His heart is good and His love is strong. I trust Him with everything… including my precious baby. As I was lying there, strapped to that table in the operation room, waiting to be completely put under anesthesia, I whispered a prayer… “Jesus, I trust you Jesus.” I wondered what kind of news would await me when I woke up.

It was over. I was hearing voices, some familiar, some strange. I couldn’t open my eyes, but I felt someone holding my hand. “He’s beautiful Keri. Everything is fine. He’s beautiful.” It was my friend Beth who also happened to be a nurse at the hospital. Over the next hour I slowly came out of the anesthesia and learned that Samuel Brandon Early had arrived at 3:46pm. (It was 9 minutes between the time it was decided I need a c-section and the time Samuel was born.) He weighed in at 7lbs 13 oz, was 20 inches long, and he was fine. My nurse Chelly said she can not recall a situation where so many things just perfectly fell into place to make this special delivery happen so quickly. I think I said the words “He’s here and he’s fine” about 20 times that night. He was here. He was finally here. And he was fine.

We are thrilled to have Samuel home with us now. It has been a very long journey and the Lord has been faithful to lead and guide us along each step. Samuel’s name is very special. Like Samuel’s mother Hannah in the Bible, I too had asked the Lord for this child (1 Samuel 1:20, 27). After going through 3 miscarriages, I knew there were no guarantees, but I knew that God wanted me to be honest with him, so I honestly shared with Him this desire to have a child knowing that He was ultimately in control. Along each step of the journey, including this last big leap, I yielded my hopes and dreams to Him knowing that His plan for me was the best. He is faithful and now we praise Him for the joy He has brought to our lives through this new little life. As I continue on this journey with Jesus, I pray that I will always put my trust in the one who continuously proves Himself faithful.