Expecting

On Sunday, Brandon announced to the congregation that we are expecting. As he continued with his greeting and prayer, my mind couldn’t get that word out of my head. Expecting. When a couple announces they are expecting, one can reasonably assume they are referring to a new baby. What does the word expect really mean?

Expect (verb)
1.to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
2.to look for with reason or justification
3.to suppose or surmise; guess
4.to anticipate the birth of (one’s child)

Brandon and I have been “expecting” five times now. Five times we have looked forward to and anticipated the coming of a baby. However, our expectations have only been met twice. We are praying for a third such occasion right now.

When we experienced our miscarriages, our expectations were not met. I would go so far as to say our expectations were crushed. All that we had looked forward to and anticipated did not come to be.

The title of my blog is “Great Expectations.” My journey through the crushing pain of unfulfilled expectations has left me a bit timid. I have been afraid to expect too much. When you allow yourself to have great expectations, you open yourself to the possibility of great pain. I’d rather just lower my expectations and be pleasantly surprised if things go well or that when things do come crashing down, at least I am not buried in the rubble.

I don’t believe that this is how God wants me to live. He has given me a hope that is secure, an anchor for my soul (Heb 4:19). I can eagerly await and anticipate eternity in heaven with my Lord and Savior--an existence absent of death, mourning, crying and pain (Rev 21:4). Although this world is full of trials and tribulations, I can live in great expectation. I can live in a state of looking forward to something that is SURE to happen. I don’t have to suppose, surmise, or guess what the outcome will be.

Maybe this security of a sure expectation will allow me to open my heart to expect great things here and now. Maybe the disappointments and hurts sure to be experienced here on earth will be softened by the knowledge that this is not how it will always be. It is like taking a huge leap knowing that although I may get some bumps and bruises along the way down, I am assured of a soft landing in my Father’s strong and secure arms. I might have my eyes closed, but I think I’m ready to jump.

Easter 2010

Easter Highlights:

Our family has been gearing up for Easter for the past 40 days. Things were kicked off with a prayer calendar put together by our church. As a family, we enjoyed turning a page each day, reading Scripture and quotes, and following specific prayer ideas.

One month before Easter, I broke out the Resurrection Eggs. The boys enjoyed looking inside each egg and learning about the events of Holy Week.

A few days before Palm Sunday, Owen and Miles put on a little puppet show. Owen was Brae the donkey and Miles was a palm branch. Owen told the story of Brae, the donkey Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, in great detail. Miles waved that branch like nobody's business!

On Good Friday, Owen informed me that it was "not good for Jesus, but good for us because He died on the cross for our sins." We spent the day with my mom's side of the family. My favorite moment was when Miles kept taking candy-filled eggs to my Grandpa. Miles needed help opening the eggs and he knew Mom had said no more candy. Grandpa GG was more than willing to open the eggs, so Miles was more than willing to split the booty with him. It was really cute!

Today was the big day. We got all dressed up in our Easter best and headed to church. I was scolded by Owen for driving with no hands because I was too busy singing my heart out. Owen's Sunday School teacher informed me that he had accidently kicked a little boy in the face while reenacting how the guards at Jesus' tomb fell over like dead men. We enjoyed the rest of the day with family.

Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and thank you God for giving us victory over death!