Expecting

On Sunday, Brandon announced to the congregation that we are expecting. As he continued with his greeting and prayer, my mind couldn’t get that word out of my head. Expecting. When a couple announces they are expecting, one can reasonably assume they are referring to a new baby. What does the word expect really mean?

Expect (verb)
1.to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
2.to look for with reason or justification
3.to suppose or surmise; guess
4.to anticipate the birth of (one’s child)

Brandon and I have been “expecting” five times now. Five times we have looked forward to and anticipated the coming of a baby. However, our expectations have only been met twice. We are praying for a third such occasion right now.

When we experienced our miscarriages, our expectations were not met. I would go so far as to say our expectations were crushed. All that we had looked forward to and anticipated did not come to be.

The title of my blog is “Great Expectations.” My journey through the crushing pain of unfulfilled expectations has left me a bit timid. I have been afraid to expect too much. When you allow yourself to have great expectations, you open yourself to the possibility of great pain. I’d rather just lower my expectations and be pleasantly surprised if things go well or that when things do come crashing down, at least I am not buried in the rubble.

I don’t believe that this is how God wants me to live. He has given me a hope that is secure, an anchor for my soul (Heb 4:19). I can eagerly await and anticipate eternity in heaven with my Lord and Savior--an existence absent of death, mourning, crying and pain (Rev 21:4). Although this world is full of trials and tribulations, I can live in great expectation. I can live in a state of looking forward to something that is SURE to happen. I don’t have to suppose, surmise, or guess what the outcome will be.

Maybe this security of a sure expectation will allow me to open my heart to expect great things here and now. Maybe the disappointments and hurts sure to be experienced here on earth will be softened by the knowledge that this is not how it will always be. It is like taking a huge leap knowing that although I may get some bumps and bruises along the way down, I am assured of a soft landing in my Father’s strong and secure arms. I might have my eyes closed, but I think I’m ready to jump.