I Trust You

It is kind of a weird feeling going to bed knowing that you will wake up the next morning and head to the hospital to have a baby. I think I got a little sleep, but of course my mind was busy wondering if I had everything packed and ready to go and what the next day would hold.

A routine induction had been scheduled for Wednesday, October 26, 2011, but it would wind up being anything but routine. We arrived at Swedes a few minutes after 6am. We were checked in and nurse Kelly got things going. I was given pitocin a few hours later in hopes that it would speed up the irregular contractions I had been having the last few weeks of the pregnancy. Throughout the morning we heard reports from some of the nurses that the labor and delivery floor was becoming a very busy place.

Just before noon my nurse Chelly came in and said that we were going to go ahead with the epidural because the anesthesiologist was on the floor and they weren’t sure when he’d be back. Sounded like a very good idea to me! I think it was around 2:30-3:00pm when my doctor came in and broke my water. This was the final step in getting this labor into full swing. This is when things got exciting.

Almost immediately after having my water broken, I began experiencing horrible pains with each contraction. This was strange since I had an epidural and had been doing really well with pain all morning. Contractions were coming closer and closer together and the pain was getting more intense each time. I was at the point of tears, so an anesthesiologist was called back to the room to adjust my medications.

The next minutes were a bit blurry. It went from my nurse and the anesthesiologist in my room to about 8 more people in the room. I vaguely remember hearing the very slow beeps on the baby’s heart rate monitor in the midst of all the conversations amongst medical personnel. Later we learned that the baby’s heart rate had dropped to 60 beats per minute and he was not responding to any of the doctor’s and nurse’s attempts to restore his heart rate to normal. I looked at Brandon and mouthed the word… PRAY! In the flurry of activity, I was asked to get on my hands and knees… no easy feat for a woman with no feeling in the bottom half of her body! The next thing I remember is being unhooked and unplugged and rushed out of the room leaving Brandon in the dust.

After this point, I heard voices and listened in on several different conversations happening all at once. They were looking for records, finding the right equipment, asking for permission, pressing an oxygen mask on my face, preparing me for an emergency c-section. One conversation was about my heart rate. There was a concern that it was low, but then it was determined that I was just remaining calm. If they only knew… You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3).

I had been here before. I had a choice. Life was happening and the situation was far beyond my control. What would I do? Who would I trust? I chose to trust the one who is always faithful. I’ve learned to trust Him in a new way. I don’t trust that He will make everything go the way I want it to go. I don’t trust that everything will have the happy ending I might desire. I don’t trust that the end result will make sense.

I do trust that the One in control is completely faithful. I trust that He has a hope and a future for me. I trust that His heart is good and His love is strong. I trust Him with everything… including my precious baby. As I was lying there, strapped to that table in the operation room, waiting to be completely put under anesthesia, I whispered a prayer… “Jesus, I trust you Jesus.” I wondered what kind of news would await me when I woke up.

It was over. I was hearing voices, some familiar, some strange. I couldn’t open my eyes, but I felt someone holding my hand. “He’s beautiful Keri. Everything is fine. He’s beautiful.” It was my friend Beth who also happened to be a nurse at the hospital. Over the next hour I slowly came out of the anesthesia and learned that Samuel Brandon Early had arrived at 3:46pm. (It was 9 minutes between the time it was decided I need a c-section and the time Samuel was born.) He weighed in at 7lbs 13 oz, was 20 inches long, and he was fine. My nurse Chelly said she can not recall a situation where so many things just perfectly fell into place to make this special delivery happen so quickly. I think I said the words “He’s here and he’s fine” about 20 times that night. He was here. He was finally here. And he was fine.

We are thrilled to have Samuel home with us now. It has been a very long journey and the Lord has been faithful to lead and guide us along each step. Samuel’s name is very special. Like Samuel’s mother Hannah in the Bible, I too had asked the Lord for this child (1 Samuel 1:20, 27). After going through 3 miscarriages, I knew there were no guarantees, but I knew that God wanted me to be honest with him, so I honestly shared with Him this desire to have a child knowing that He was ultimately in control. Along each step of the journey, including this last big leap, I yielded my hopes and dreams to Him knowing that His plan for me was the best. He is faithful and now we praise Him for the joy He has brought to our lives through this new little life. As I continue on this journey with Jesus, I pray that I will always put my trust in the one who continuously proves Himself faithful.

Waiting in Expectation

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
Psalm 5:3

You are teaching me to wait upon you day by day with great expectation. Thank you for your great patience and kindness to me. You are a God who is with me always. You never let go of me. My desire is to follow hard after you all the days of my life. It is only by your grace this can be accomplished. Guide me and lead me in your truths Lord. You are faithful and I will put my trust in you.

Showered with Blessings

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea the blessing that awaited me today. Earlier in the week, my friend Jessi had sent me a somewhat cryptic message saying she was planning some last minute pre-baby adventuring in Rockford. This invitation included something about low-impact walking and reservations. I put off committing to this intriguing offer not knowing if I’d be up for any activity or if my parents would be up for more babysitting. On Thursday or Friday, my parents informed me that they would pick up the boys and take them Saturday morning so I could rest up a bit. Great news! I guess Jessi and I were on!

Long story short, I very unexpectedly walked into a surprise baby shower! I had absolutely no idea that all this planning and sneaking around had been going on for some time now. For my own remembrance of this very special day, I want to share a few snapshots of the morning…

Jessi’s sister Bethany traveled all the way from Lake Geneva to help with the decorations. It was unbelievable! From lights and etsy-worthy baby items strung from the ceiling to sunflowers in pale blue painted jars and a burlap table cloth, I could barely take it all in.

I began looking through the crowd… my mom, Junior and Senior High staff women (Katie, Dara, Chelsey, Rachael, Gayle, Jenny, Laura, Maria, Cherice), some of my Bible study girls (Rose, Laura, Tona), my mentor Pam, my good friend Laura, a new friend Bethany and of course my friend and head schemer Jessi.

The food layout was just as impressive. Many of the women had contributed a variety of delicious breakfast foods: fruit, egg casseroles, French toast, pigs in a blanket with yummy pecans (thanks mom!) and pastries! At the table we each had these cute little glass jars filled with orange juice. So fancy!

My mom stepped out of her comfort zone and offered a beautiful prayer to start our meal. We all enjoyed some wonderful food and conversation. Then came the announcement. Jessi introduced my mentor Pam MacRae to share a message with us. This might not be a traditional baby shower agenda item, but it was perfect for me! I love hearing from Pam and always gain so much from her teaching.

Pam shared the story of Hannah and her long awaited Samuel from 1 Samuel. The main verse she had been impressed to share was 1 Samuel 1:27, “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” Many of us commented the only thing missing was paper and pen to take notes on this amazing message from God’s word. Pam encouraged all of us to remember that our purpose (and our children’s purpose) is to love God and serve Him with our whole lives. The world emphasizes that childhood should be a time of fun and safety. As Christians, we know that childhood is a time to prepare our children for the spiritual battles that loom. At the age of three, we see Samuel worshipping God at the temple. Hannah was doing something right!

Next, Jessi shared the story about a special song that Miles and I would often sing at bedtime… “There’s Something About that Name.” Cherice and Maria played and sang the song for us and then we all joined in singing the song together. What sweet memories I have of rocking Miles to bed as a baby while singing this song and later listening to Miles sing the song all by himself.

We ended our time together with a special time of sharing. Jessi had asked each woman to share a passage of Scripture along with their thoughts/encouragements for me. Yes, there was a fair amount of crying throughout this portion of the shower, but there was laughter as well. I think I will post the different Scriptures that the women chose to share in another post. It was a wonderful gift and encouragement to me.

Another fantastic element of this shower was the theme: diapers! Knowing that we have many of the needed baby items stowed away from use with Owen and Miles, Jessi asked the women to shower me with diapers! Target is losing out on some major business from the Early family for baby’s first few months!

I can not even find the right words to express how blessed I feel after today. I don’t think I could have dreamed up such a perfect morning. I have spent a lot of time praising God in the storm and am now remembering the importance of praising him in times of joy as well.

Psalm 34:8

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.