Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. This is a conversation I had with Owen last night while he was in the bathroom. . .
Owen: Mom, can you wipe me?
Me: No, that's your job.
Owen: Will you pay me for it?
(Brandon and I laughing hysterically)
Me: I don't think I can do that.
Owen: I think you can.
(More laughter)
Ecclesiastes 3:4 . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh . . .
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
My Psalm
Born Still
May 14, 2010
Too tired to sleep
Don’t want to think
Can’t get the images out of my mind
A lifeless body
Silence persists
This just can’t be happening again
Prepped and prepared
Feeling so scared
I’m not ready to say goodbye
Crying out to my King
Maker of everything
Hold me now Lord, I need you tonight
Quietly you came
We gave you a name
This moment I’ll never forget
Your tiny form
You had been born
Straight into the Father’s embrace
I love you little one
Your life has truly begun
It won’t be long until we’re together again
For now I must stay
I will glorify and praise
The God who has provided a way
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
May 14, 2010
Too tired to sleep
Don’t want to think
Can’t get the images out of my mind
A lifeless body
Silence persists
This just can’t be happening again
Prepped and prepared
Feeling so scared
I’m not ready to say goodbye
Crying out to my King
Maker of everything
Hold me now Lord, I need you tonight
Quietly you came
We gave you a name
This moment I’ll never forget
Your tiny form
You had been born
Straight into the Father’s embrace
I love you little one
Your life has truly begun
It won’t be long until we’re together again
For now I must stay
I will glorify and praise
The God who has provided a way
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
Monday, May 17, 2010
In this world . . . (orginally posted Sept 2009)
This is an old post of mine from September, it's a good reminder for me right now.
The Bible clearly tells us in John 16:33 that in this world we will have trouble. How do you deal with heartache? Nat King Cole would tell you to:
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Yep, that’s about the best the world has to offer. When life gets hard and sorrow comes your way, smile and hope for the best. Although I’ve taken this theory for a test drive, it always seems to come up short. God has shown me a better way and given me a new song to sing:
Cry when your heart is aching
Seek God especially when its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, ask Him why
If you search God’s word through your fear and sorrow
Trust Him and I assure you tomorrow
You’ll see the Son come shining through for you
We live in a fallen world tainted by sin. This guarantees us some pain and sorrow along the way. God doesn't expect us to smile through our grief and sorrow. As a matter of fact, He counts our tears and weeps along with us. So where do we go from here? If we seek Him, we will find Him. Don't be afraid to bring your sorrows, your fears, and your questions to God. Wrestle through your heartaches with the One who can bring hope and healing. Allow the Bible to speak truth into your life. When your emotions are running wild, allow God's truth to penetrate your heart. He loves you, He cares for you, He will never leave you. God has a plan for our lives and nothing that happens has not first been sifted through His loving hands. So, the next time you are faced with heartache, turn off the radio and tune into the One who has overcome the world.
. . . in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37
The Bible clearly tells us in John 16:33 that in this world we will have trouble. How do you deal with heartache? Nat King Cole would tell you to:
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Yep, that’s about the best the world has to offer. When life gets hard and sorrow comes your way, smile and hope for the best. Although I’ve taken this theory for a test drive, it always seems to come up short. God has shown me a better way and given me a new song to sing:
Cry when your heart is aching
Seek God especially when its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, ask Him why
If you search God’s word through your fear and sorrow
Trust Him and I assure you tomorrow
You’ll see the Son come shining through for you
We live in a fallen world tainted by sin. This guarantees us some pain and sorrow along the way. God doesn't expect us to smile through our grief and sorrow. As a matter of fact, He counts our tears and weeps along with us. So where do we go from here? If we seek Him, we will find Him. Don't be afraid to bring your sorrows, your fears, and your questions to God. Wrestle through your heartaches with the One who can bring hope and healing. Allow the Bible to speak truth into your life. When your emotions are running wild, allow God's truth to penetrate your heart. He loves you, He cares for you, He will never leave you. God has a plan for our lives and nothing that happens has not first been sifted through His loving hands. So, the next time you are faced with heartache, turn off the radio and tune into the One who has overcome the world.
. . . in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37
Friday, May 14, 2010
"Faithful"
A portion of the song "Faithful" by Steven Curtis Chapman . . .
I am waiting for the rescue
that I know is sure to come,
cuz You are faithful.
Yes You are faithful.
I've dropped anchor in Your promises,
and I am holding on,
cuz You are faithful.
God You are faithful.
I will proclaim it to the world.
I will declare it to my heart
And sing it when the sun is shining.
I will scream it in the dark.
You are faithful!
You are faithful!
When you give and when You take away,
even then still Your name
is faithful!
You are faithful!
And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe You're faithful.
So faithful...
Though I cannot have the answer
that I'm wanting to demand,
I'll remember You are God
and everything is in Your hand.
In Your hands you hold the sun, the moon,
the stars up in the sky,
for the sake of Love, You hung Your own Son
on the cross...to die...
You are faithful...
Yes, You are faithful...
When you give and when You take away,
even then, great is Your faithfulness!
Great is Your faithfulness!
I am waiting for the rescue
that I know is sure to come,
cuz You are faithful.
Yes You are faithful.
I've dropped anchor in Your promises,
and I am holding on,
cuz You are faithful.
God You are faithful.
I will proclaim it to the world.
I will declare it to my heart
And sing it when the sun is shining.
I will scream it in the dark.
You are faithful!
You are faithful!
When you give and when You take away,
even then still Your name
is faithful!
You are faithful!
And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe You're faithful.
So faithful...
Though I cannot have the answer
that I'm wanting to demand,
I'll remember You are God
and everything is in Your hand.
In Your hands you hold the sun, the moon,
the stars up in the sky,
for the sake of Love, You hung Your own Son
on the cross...to die...
You are faithful...
Yes, You are faithful...
When you give and when You take away,
even then, great is Your faithfulness!
Great is Your faithfulness!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Expecting
On Sunday, Brandon announced to the congregation that we are expecting. As he continued with his greeting and prayer, my mind couldn’t get that word out of my head. Expecting. When a couple announces they are expecting, one can reasonably assume they are referring to a new baby. What does the word expect really mean?
Expect (verb)
1.to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
2.to look for with reason or justification
3.to suppose or surmise; guess
4.to anticipate the birth of (one’s child)
Brandon and I have been “expecting” five times now. Five times we have looked forward to and anticipated the coming of a baby. However, our expectations have only been met twice. We are praying for a third such occasion right now.
When we experienced our miscarriages, our expectations were not met. I would go so far as to say our expectations were crushed. All that we had looked forward to and anticipated did not come to be.
The title of my blog is “Great Expectations.” My journey through the crushing pain of unfulfilled expectations has left me a bit timid. I have been afraid to expect too much. When you allow yourself to have great expectations, you open yourself to the possibility of great pain. I’d rather just lower my expectations and be pleasantly surprised if things go well or that when things do come crashing down, at least I am not buried in the rubble.
I don’t believe that this is how God wants me to live. He has given me a hope that is secure, an anchor for my soul (Heb 4:19). I can eagerly await and anticipate eternity in heaven with my Lord and Savior--an existence absent of death, mourning, crying and pain (Rev 21:4). Although this world is full of trials and tribulations, I can live in great expectation. I can live in a state of looking forward to something that is SURE to happen. I don’t have to suppose, surmise, or guess what the outcome will be.
Maybe this security of a sure expectation will allow me to open my heart to expect great things here and now. Maybe the disappointments and hurts sure to be experienced here on earth will be softened by the knowledge that this is not how it will always be. It is like taking a huge leap knowing that although I may get some bumps and bruises along the way down, I am assured of a soft landing in my Father’s strong and secure arms. I might have my eyes closed, but I think I’m ready to jump.
Expect (verb)
1.to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
2.to look for with reason or justification
3.to suppose or surmise; guess
4.to anticipate the birth of (one’s child)
Brandon and I have been “expecting” five times now. Five times we have looked forward to and anticipated the coming of a baby. However, our expectations have only been met twice. We are praying for a third such occasion right now.
When we experienced our miscarriages, our expectations were not met. I would go so far as to say our expectations were crushed. All that we had looked forward to and anticipated did not come to be.
The title of my blog is “Great Expectations.” My journey through the crushing pain of unfulfilled expectations has left me a bit timid. I have been afraid to expect too much. When you allow yourself to have great expectations, you open yourself to the possibility of great pain. I’d rather just lower my expectations and be pleasantly surprised if things go well or that when things do come crashing down, at least I am not buried in the rubble.
I don’t believe that this is how God wants me to live. He has given me a hope that is secure, an anchor for my soul (Heb 4:19). I can eagerly await and anticipate eternity in heaven with my Lord and Savior--an existence absent of death, mourning, crying and pain (Rev 21:4). Although this world is full of trials and tribulations, I can live in great expectation. I can live in a state of looking forward to something that is SURE to happen. I don’t have to suppose, surmise, or guess what the outcome will be.
Maybe this security of a sure expectation will allow me to open my heart to expect great things here and now. Maybe the disappointments and hurts sure to be experienced here on earth will be softened by the knowledge that this is not how it will always be. It is like taking a huge leap knowing that although I may get some bumps and bruises along the way down, I am assured of a soft landing in my Father’s strong and secure arms. I might have my eyes closed, but I think I’m ready to jump.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter 2010
Easter Highlights:
Our family has been gearing up for Easter for the past 40 days. Things were kicked off with a prayer calendar put together by our church. As a family, we enjoyed turning a page each day, reading Scripture and quotes, and following specific prayer ideas.
One month before Easter, I broke out the Resurrection Eggs. The boys enjoyed looking inside each egg and learning about the events of Holy Week.
A few days before Palm Sunday, Owen and Miles put on a little puppet show. Owen was Brae the donkey and Miles was a palm branch. Owen told the story of Brae, the donkey Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, in great detail. Miles waved that branch like nobody's business!
On Good Friday, Owen informed me that it was "not good for Jesus, but good for us because He died on the cross for our sins." We spent the day with my mom's side of the family. My favorite moment was when Miles kept taking candy-filled eggs to my Grandpa. Miles needed help opening the eggs and he knew Mom had said no more candy. Grandpa GG was more than willing to open the eggs, so Miles was more than willing to split the booty with him. It was really cute!
Today was the big day. We got all dressed up in our Easter best and headed to church. I was scolded by Owen for driving with no hands because I was too busy singing my heart out. Owen's Sunday School teacher informed me that he had accidently kicked a little boy in the face while reenacting how the guards at Jesus' tomb fell over like dead men. We enjoyed the rest of the day with family.
Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and thank you God for giving us victory over death!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Family Update
Early Family Updates . . .
Brandon is breathing a little easier at work. We recently hired a great guy to take over Jr High. Luke and his fiance Jessi are great and we are so excited they are here. Brandon is "fun dad" but also firm and loving. Owen invited his dad to Special Friends day at school. He was so excited to show his dad off. Miles has been trained to state on command, "I am daddy's boy!"
Owen is my helper. He loves to help, he loves to love his brother, he loves to say sweet things. He is very thoughtful and kind. He knows no strangers and especially loves babies. I also recently learned that he likes the New Testament better than the Old Testament. That kid knows his Bible! Now, we do have our not so sweet moments. We are currently going through the "I think it is more fun to be bad" stage. At least I'm hoping this is just a stage!
Miles is a hoot. He has so many different faces and voices. When he knows he is in trouble, he smiles this big smile where his eye are all squinted shut. We are half-heartedly working on potty training. I'm in no hurry. Miles is learning to pedal his tricycle. He has a pretty solid bed time routine that he has come up with. It includes a kiss, a buzzer, a hug, and three blankets.
I am doing good. I am enjoying the warmer weather and looking forward to an early anniversary trip with Brandon next month. This summer we will celebrate 10 years of marriage. That is crazy!!! I was thrilled to learn that I will still have my job next year. I also continue to be involved at church with women's ministries and Jr High.
Brandon is breathing a little easier at work. We recently hired a great guy to take over Jr High. Luke and his fiance Jessi are great and we are so excited they are here. Brandon is "fun dad" but also firm and loving. Owen invited his dad to Special Friends day at school. He was so excited to show his dad off. Miles has been trained to state on command, "I am daddy's boy!"
Owen is my helper. He loves to help, he loves to love his brother, he loves to say sweet things. He is very thoughtful and kind. He knows no strangers and especially loves babies. I also recently learned that he likes the New Testament better than the Old Testament. That kid knows his Bible! Now, we do have our not so sweet moments. We are currently going through the "I think it is more fun to be bad" stage. At least I'm hoping this is just a stage!
Miles is a hoot. He has so many different faces and voices. When he knows he is in trouble, he smiles this big smile where his eye are all squinted shut. We are half-heartedly working on potty training. I'm in no hurry. Miles is learning to pedal his tricycle. He has a pretty solid bed time routine that he has come up with. It includes a kiss, a buzzer, a hug, and three blankets.
I am doing good. I am enjoying the warmer weather and looking forward to an early anniversary trip with Brandon next month. This summer we will celebrate 10 years of marriage. That is crazy!!! I was thrilled to learn that I will still have my job next year. I also continue to be involved at church with women's ministries and Jr High.
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